On Pausing... Selah

 This is a hard post to write, because anyone who knows me well, or has been in my house any length of time, knows the trio "Selah" is often heard playing. I have been a fan of theirs for nearly 20 years now, back when it was Todd Smith, his sister Nicole, and Alan Hall and now with Amy Perry. Their music was so uplifting, voices so powerful, and the message so strong. It helped get me through a lot of tough spots. I'd even performed some of their songs at a few conferences. 

I rarely got to see them in concert when I lived in Virginia. They never were any less than a 2 hours drive from me, so I only got to see them two times. But, I supported them by buying every CD at pre-release, playing them often on Spotify, and sharing the music with others. One of my biggest excitements about moving to Central Tennessee was that I'd be within 90 minutes of several dozen popular concert locations and so many big churches my favorite artists would perform at.

In the midst of my cancer battle, as I was wrapping up the Red Devil and Cyotaxin combo and taking a two-week break before starting Taxol, Selah was going to be having a Christmas concert just an hour away. It would be my FIRST concert in Tennessee. I was thrilled! 

I knew, with my disabilities and cancer battle, pre-planning had to happen to make the night a success, and I jumped right into it. Churches tend to have these mini rows in the back for the disabled. As if tucking us back there is safer, and keeping us out of sight is easier on all. But it's so hard to see from there unless the sanctuary is built on an angle, and so many of us have vision issues or it's hard to hear and focus with the entire crowd in front of us. I was trying to avoid that.

Immediately, things went south. Within 48 hours of sales opening, all of the premium tickets were gone. Those were the first few rows of the church. I later learned they weren't even offered to the general public. The church bought them out immediately.  So, I bought the regular ones for myself and those coming with me and made note of when the church said doors were opening for general seating. We planned to arrive 30 min before that, though hoped it would not be needed. My next step was to message Selah's contact on their website, the hosting church, and the sponsoring radio station. I told them of my disabilities and the issues many face in smaller venues like churches and asked what could be done so I wasn't stuck in the back rows. I also shared my love of the trio, cancer battle, and the hope that maybe something could be arranged so I could meet them. 

Silence. From all three. As the day approached, I tried again and even messaged their Facebook page. Silence. From everyone. It was crushing. 

The day of, I was anxious. Would I even be able to find a seat where I could see them? The chemo was making a mess of my vision, and I was using my forearm crutches to get around. We arrived super early... only to find the church had opened the doors to their regulars even before the announced time. Then, in the windows, I could see people meeting and talking to Selah - all smiles and laughter. My emotions dropped as we entered the 2/3rds full sanctuary and tried to find enough seats so we could be together and I could at least be on the end to lean over and see maybe part of the stage. Where we sat had an overhead fan blowing cold air, so we had to keep our coats and gloves on. I started to cry.  

My mother, knowing I had taken all of these steps to make the concert experience safer and better for me and how much I love the trio, got up and went to start talking to whomever she could find. It took a few tries before one of the radio hosts told her she had to buy a CD and get in line after the concert in order to meet Selah. He told her that when a certain song came on, that was the end of the show and I should head out then to be one of the first. Being I already own all of their CD's she picked a duplicate and came back to tell me. I love her so much! It was at least something. I'd be able to briefly see them up close.

The concert itself was grand. While I could only see the piano and Alan and not much more between lights and people, the sound was great! I enjoyed the music, stories, and the video segments on the big screen. My hands were in the air for a few songs, and for a bit of time the trials subsided. 

We made our way out at the start of the final song. I was first in line and spoke to the radio host while waiting. He was pretty friendly, though distracted. Finally, Todd, Amy, and Alan took their seats, but were immediately rushed by line skippers and VIPs. So, leaning on my crutches, I waited. When it was time, I got to say a few things to Alan before Todd reached for my hand and asked about the cancer and spoke very kindly to me. I tried to introduce Amy to my niece, who is adopted from foster care - knowing she is a foster mom, but she didn't seem to note it. Alan was super sweet to her, though! As we gathered to take a picture, I brought up how long I'd been listening to their music and how my last concert was when Amy had been with the trio for just three weeks. I had my years off, though, and the only words Amy said to me was to snap the correct years. It was too much. The group pictures have me tearing up in them. And by the time we got to the car, I was crying once more.

 Almost a year later, this experience has lingered with me. I've not attempted to see anyone else in concert, though so many happen around here. And, when Selah announced a date in Nashville, I made a reply on their Facebook about how I'd like to see them, but the last experience had me still sad. Amy Perry popped on immediately with a defensive comment about how the concerts are usually fun. I replied that I'm sure they were, and I'd be open to discussing the lengths we went to to make sure it could be for me. Then, once more, I sent a message off to Rixon Enertainment Group. And there's silence.

What's worse? I was removed from their Facebook page. Christians are their own worst enemies... and a disabled person trying to make sure seeing her favorite Christian artist and being treated like that is just wrong. I'm gutted. It hurts to hear the songs that once uplifted me. It brings tears instead of joy. I've found myself removing many of their songs from my Spotify list, tucking their CDs away instead of playing them in my stereo. 

And I don't know if anyone will do anything about it. For 18 years of support, one sentence, and an invitation to speak on disability access and service to those who support you, after trying so hard to get that accessibility at a show... and gone. 

And so we Pause. As their name states Selah.

On Angels Of The Trip (Disney Part 2)

 My entire trip to Disney, from the planning phase to the moment I was reunited with my parents at the end was filled with "angels."  I was so nervous going into this adventure, so much had to be done and it was going to be a costly thing to have go sideways. But, from the very start, God paved the way and put people in the right place at the right time.

Beforehand: I had been saving up, slowly, for the trip. The multiple moves, cancer battle, and other things had put that on hold. But I had the special needs trust to lean on if I didn't save enough. But then the first angel arrived. A lifelong mentor and dear friend sent a check that covered the entire cost of the resort and park tickets! I'd just need to cover the car, airfare, scooter rental, and daily expenses. 

Then, as the announcement of the trip was made, a former co-worker and precious friend Margret, and her husband Greg, contacted me. They are avid Disney World fans and visit frequently. They said they'd come with me for the first part of the trip. I wasn't going to have to tackle Disney alone! 

Onward to Flordia: I had gotten a great discount with USAA for my plane ticket, and it was a straight-through flight to Orlando - so needed. The problem is the flight initially labeled as United was actually Silver Airways. The reviews for the airline were appalling, so I braced myself. Sure enough, it took 4 days and nine hours to reach a human about needing a skycap to get me from curb to terminal, only to find out the day of that they never put in the notes. Thankfully, Huntsville Airport scrambled and found a super sweet employee who took me all the way through. I made sure at the terminal to have the person checking us in note I needed wheelchair assistance at Orlando. He promised to enter it in right that moment. He didn't.

After 5 hours of delays and getting to Orlando at 1 a.m., the wheelchair wasn't there. The lady at the desk was annoyed, and those on the plane were super apologetic as I waited and waited for help. But an angel of a young man was sent to help me. He was so sweet and decided to break protocol. He's only supposed to take me to the luggage/curb and that's it. But it was so late, and I was so tired, and he saw it so took me all the way out to the garage and got me checked in with the car rental, and even loaded up the vehicle for me! 

The drive to the resort was painful. I had torn up the surgery site in my elbow a few weeks prior and was in the big metal brace post-injections for all of the trip. But, I made it to Pop Century at nearly 2 a.m. The woman at the front desk was saddened by my experience getting there and quickly called someone to help as she saw I was dead on my feet. I had to somehow get both my rented scooter, car, and luggage, over to where my room was. Enter the next angel, named Edwin. He drove the scooter around as I found a place to park closer to the room. Then we switched places with him hauling my luggage (mind you this is heavy because I had IV fluids and my CPAP in the big bag on top of everything you'd usually bring.) At 2:40 I was finally securely in the room and resting.

At Disney: Bright and early, I met with Margret and Greg. Margret with one of those awesome cooling towels in hand as a gift for me. We were soon off and running to Epcot to see my favorite character, Figment! But we were having some issues understanding the DAS system, and that's when the next angel arrived. An elderly man, working for Disney in his retirement years, patiently explained the difference between DAS and DAS Advanced that I'd set up and showed me how to access it all on the phone. Margret and Greg were the best angels the two days, using their photo pass so I had some amazing memory pictures, making sure I knew the best ways to get to the best spots for when I was soloing later, getting us onto Ride of the Resistance on a super busy day (OMG that ride!), the hilarity at Prime Time Diner and so much more. Along the way, there were people who opened doors, raced over to help if I dropped something, helped me reach items I couldn't because of the scooter or brace, noticed my "This is my fight hat" with the breast cancer symbol and shared their stories or words of encouragement and more. It wasn't just staff either but fellow visitors. I've never felt more accepted than those days in the park.

Interlude at The Villages: I loved the four days of seeing family at The Villages. But the angel shout-outs go to my Aunt Anna for her incredible packing skills! I had to ship a box home because there wasn't any way to fit the droid I bought, and other things, into my suitcase otherwise. She fit so much into that little box, I don't know how she did it! The other is to my cousin Stephanie for the wonderful hours we spent hanging out and catching up. It was so meaningful and needed. 

Heading Home to Tennessee: After how the flight out went, I was quite nervous about the one home. Orlando does not have a good reputation among disabled fliers, especially regarding their TSA. I hadn't heard from TSA Cares so left super early to make sure I could get through it and the airport with waits for help. But the moment I pulled my rental car up and started to strap on the arm brace, an employee of the airport was there to load my luggage onto the cart after reminding that he works for tips. We had a lovely chat about his home country of Venezuela as he helped me through checking in the car and getting to the counter for Silver. They actually had noted my need of a wheelchair this time, so the wait for one wasn't too long. The next skycap was kind and we lucked out that the TSA line was bizarrely short (though the TSA employee lived up to Orlando's reputation of not being kind.) The flight was on time, and soon I was in Huntsville. There, the same guy who did not enter my need for help before was waiting with a wheelchair. He was apologetic. We discussed the problem, and I asked about him. Found out he was a student at the local university and was studying computer science while also working long hours at the airline. He became the last angel of the trip as he made sure I not just got my luggage but he stayed with me until I was at my parent's side once more - much to my mom's relief. She panicked the whole trip! 

And so we have the angels of my trip to Disney. It was so much more than expected. Every single person came at just the perfect moment to make my travel adventure go so much better than expected. I am so very, very grateful.